Mercenaries of Club Penguin

In recent events, renowned buffoon and Club Penguin LARPer, Xing, has declared war on us for what seems to be no imperative reason. Just last night, an article was released on the Templars website summarizing why this was the case.

In the article it states, “They have mocked us in the past by calling us small, banning us just for being Templars, and accusing us of cheating (they can’t be talking about that) when we did nothing wrong to them.” But what does it mean? The next line states that WE have in fact cheated, saying that we’ve multilogged and faked Ausia events, but where is your proof? Ironically enough, Xing most notable trait in the CPA community is being an avid multilogger.

You also say that you’ve done nothing wrong to us, which is an understatement. The amount of hate and malevolence that reeks from your community is abhorrent. After your declaration of war, you sent in some of your troops to our server to spam the phone number of an unidentified person in the community and a gruesome video of a man brutally molesting a rabbit. (And I can provide proof, just DM me.)

And next you say that we declared our war on Red Ravagers for no good reason, however I am here to say that the war declared all in good fun, just like your previous war with them, and that you have no right to step in. This is why I will be taking the extra step to title this war. When people look back at the decimation of Templars and Xing’s massive ego, they will remember it as The War of Eminent Apostasy. My message to all troops of Templars: If you are afraid, you have every right to be. Not just because of us, but your leader, Xing. He just may demolish your army from the inside out simply from his leadership. That is all.

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